


Love Story in 3 Disasters

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-31
Updated: 2002-07-31
Packaged: 2019-05-15 13:10:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14791112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: The entire world seems to be stacked against Josh proposing to Donna.





	Love Story in 3 Disasters

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Love Story in 3 Disasters**

**by:**

**Disclaimer:** How I wish Sam was mine! But unfortunately he isn't and neither are the others. They belong to AS and his cronies.  
**Category:** Josh/Donna Romance/humour (I hope)  
**Spoilers:** Tiny ones for The Leadership Breakfast, Celestial Navigation, that's about it.  
**Summary:** The entire world seems to be stacked against Josh proposing to Donna.  
**Rating:** TEEN (some strong language in parts)  
**Author's Note:** This started off quite small but it spread! In this story J and D are already together ( oh what a wonderful world!) and it is told from both their points of view. Hope you like it! Please, please send feed back cos I value it a lot but so far my inbox is lonely! Thanks again to Carla for betaing you luvly girl!xx 

**DISASTER 1 - Josh's POV**

"You have performed an illegal operation."

God damn computer.

"You have performed an illegal operation. Please shut down."

Bastard computer. What illegal operation? I was trying to log on, for God's sake, not accessing missile codes.

Not that I'd need to.

Anyway. The computer is now beeping at me. I try hitting it but this doesn't seem to work. I think about throwing my coffee over it, but I've nearly set the White House on fire once already this year, and I don't think they'll let me get away with it again.

My assistant could fix this. She has a way with computers - they listen to her. But I can't let her see what I am doing.

So when my beautiful assistant (who is also my beautiful girlfriend) sticks her head around the door, I wave her away.

She's gonna think I'm accessing porn.

I'm not.

I don't do that.

I don't!

I'm looking for cookery websites for dinner tonight.

That's right, I, Joshua Lyman, King of the Carry Out, am cooking dinner for Donna tonight and it has to be perfect.

You're asking why?

Well, I'll tell you.

Because tonight, I am going to ask the lovely Donnatella Moss to marry me.

I know.

I'm a sweet guy.

Of course, I can't tell *her* any of this.

So I just smile guiltily at her .

She eyes me suspiciously. 

She thinks I'm accessing porn, I know it.

**Donna's POV**

Call me mean.

Call me insensitive.

Hell, I probably am these things.

I know that when Josh offers to cook me dinner, I should be happy.

I should be excited.

But I'm not.

Don't get me wrong, its not that I don't appreciate the gesture. Josh can be really sweet when he wants to.

Its just - Josh can't cook.

There. I've said it.

He can't.

Josh once tried to make toast for me after I stayed the night at his apartment. It took him half an hour to find the toaster.

In two minutes, the entire place was filled with smoke and the entire apartment block had to be evacuated.

I don't think he even knows what his oven does.

He definitely doesn't know how to turn it on.

My three most valuable cookery utensils are - a sharp knife, an electric mixer and a chopping board.

His three most valuable cookery utensils are - the Chinese takeout menu, the Indian takeout menu, and the Pizza takeout menu.

And this is the man who will be tonight cooking me a three course meal.

Do you blame me for being worried?

Maybe I should warn the hospital..

I hear Josh cursing loudly from his office.

I bet its the computer.

I hear him hitting something.

Definitely the computer.

I can deal with this - I'm like a computer whisperer.

I stick my head around the door. 

Instead of dropping to his knees begging for help like I expected him to, he merely waves me away and smiles guiltily.

I scowl.

He's accessing porn. I know it.

**Josh's POV**

Look at her, scowling at me!

I am not accessing porn!

For Goodness Sake - she shouldn't be judging me! Its her fault I'm in this mess.

She's the one I'm proposing to, isn't she?

OK, I admit there may be a fault in my logic somewhere.

Actually, this situation arose from my being a little forgetful.

I had all these great ideas about tonight.

I told Donna I was going to cook her a  magnificent feast.

I just forgot one thing.

One small, and yet very significant detail.

I can't actually cook. 

I know. I couldn't believe it either - I'm not actually perfect.

I only realized this at 10 o'clock this morning, just as Sam Seaborn waltzed into my office, full of the joys of spring.

"Good morning, Joshua."

I gave him a horrified look. He was acting as if the end of the world was not nigh!

"Whats wrong?" he asked.

"Sam!" I said urgently. "Do you know any recipes?"

The guy looked at me like I was speaking Greek.

"Recipes?"

Poor Sam - my fellow fast-food connoisseur. Had it come to this? Were we so removed from the concept of real food  that we practically had to run for the nearest dictionary to find out what "recipe" means?

"You know!" I said, gesturing wildly. "The things on paper.....tells you how to make food!"

He looked at me as if he thought I was having an epileptic fit.

"Are you all right, Josh?"

"Do you know any?"

"No, why?"

"I have to cook dinner for Donna tonight!"

Sam waved an arm dismissively. "Just take her to a restaurant."

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because - it has to be private!"

"Well then - get a carry out."

"I can't do that either!"

"Why not?"

"Because it has to be special!" I collapsed into my chair.

"Why?" said Sam, ever the annoying.

I looked up at him. Okay. I hadn't planned on telling anyone. But Sam is my best friend. And I was desperate.

"I'm going to propose to Donna."

"Oh my God."

"Yes. And I said I'd cook dinner."

Sam gasped, as if the realization had just hit him.

"But you can't cook!"

"I KNOOOOW!" I cried.

"Well, this is terrible," he said.

I crashed my head onto my desk.

It hurt.

Before I could do it again and end the pain, Sam spoke.

"Don't worry. We'll think of something."

"Like what?" I said, raising my head and removing a sheet of paper that had become attached to my face.

"I don't know." Sam announced.

I contemplated suicide as Sam paced up and down the room.

I was halfway through writing my own eulogy when Sam stopped and snapped his fingers.

"CJ!" he cried.

"Yes!" I yelled. "CJ!"

"Yes!"

"What about CJ?" I asked.

"Ask *her* for recipes!"

"How would she know?"

"She's a woman isn't she?"

"Yeah, yeah, She's a woman, she must know how to cook!"

"OK!" said Sam.

 

A few seconds later, I was running through the corridors of the West Wing.

I admit, I was attracting some strange looks.

But this was a matter of life or death.

And lets face it folks, it was gonna be the latter.

CJ was sitting at her desk as I crashed through her door and almost collapsed on the floor.

"CJ...." I said, gasping for breath.

"Oh Joshua." CJ said, looking at me over the top of her glasses. "Your explanation is just going to have to be so, so good."

"I....need...recipes" I panted.

"Not good enough" she said, getting up and walking out of her office.

"CJ!" I followed her.

"I have a press briefing *now* Josh, I really don't have time to give you recipes \- why do you even *need* recipes?"

"I'm cooking for Donna."

"You can't cook."

"Thats exactly why I need...."

"Josh, you want recipes, go read a cook book."

I tried not to scream with frustration. "I don't *have* a cook book! Thats why I'm asking you!"

We had reached the briefing room.

CJ turned to me. "People make my food for me Joshua, I can't help you. Look it up on the web."

"Look it up on the web."  
Great idea. Just - "look it up on the web."

Thanks for nothing, Claudia Jean.

**Donna's POV**

He's looking at porn. Look at him, smiling guiltily at me.

Well, he's not getting away with it. What girlfriend would stand idly by while her boyfriend casually accesses pornography on the internet?

Not me.

Not Donna Moss.

I stride around his desk towards the computer. He looks horrified.

I press the button that will stop the beeping and let me see what he was trying to access.

Oh my God.

Its a *cookery* website. A *cookery* website.

The poor guy is trying to learn to cook!

I feel terrible. I look down at him.

"Josh \- is this all for tonight?"

He's nodding. I guess I wasn't the only one worrying about food poisoning.

I laugh, and sit down in his lap. "You don't have to do all of this."

"I want to. I want to do this for you."

Ohhh! He's so sweet. I have to kiss him now. How can I not?

"Josh \- I don't care what we're eating. It honestly doesn't matter if we eat bread and butter off paper plates."

"Really?" He's smiling now.

"Really. Lets get a pizza and curl up in front of the fire."

"But \- we always do that. I wanted it to be special."

I smile. "Its always special."

**DISASTER 2 - Josh's POV**

I'm sitting alone in my chair, smiling to myself.

Did you hear that? "Its always special." she said.

Wow.

Well that solves the problem of food at least.

Just one staff meeting to go, then we'll go home and.....who knows?

Maybe tomorrow, I'll be an engaged man.

Me.

Josh Lyman.

Terror of the ladies.

Maybe not. But wow, anyway.

Donna comes in.

"Josh, you have staff in five."

"OK" I answer. "Whats after that?"

"Nothing," she says. "You're done."

"Okay, well then we're gonna go home and get that pizza, yeah?" I say, getting up.

She smiles. (wow). "Sure!"

I kiss her quickly and walk out of my office. Ahead of me, I see Sam.

He turns and waits.

"Hey! How did you get on with CJ? Did she help?"

I laugh. "Not at all. But it doesn't matter."

"Why not?"

"Donna just wants pizza."

"I thought you said -"

"Yeah, but, y' know, its what she wants."

"OK, cos I was thinking -"

"The problem's solved, Sam."

"I know, but if it wasn't I thought you could call your mom - she cooks!"

"Thats a great idea!"

"Yes?"

"Brilliant!"

"Yes!"

"*Totally* irrelevant!"

"Yes."

I'm still laughing at Sam as we walk into Leo's office.

"You're in a good mood, Josh"

"Life is good, Leo" I say, sitting down.

"What is so good, in particular?" grumbles Toby from another seat.

Here we go.

CJ, who is sitting near the window, rolls her eyes.

"Is it that the polling figures are down 2 points in Wisconsin, Oregon and Nevada? No - it can't be that. Is it that we are down three points - three - in Kansas? No - it can't be that!"

"Come on Toby" I say. "We're never gonna get Kansas!"

Toby looks at me like I just told him I joined the Republicans and married Nancy Reagan.

What?

Its true. We *will* never get Kansas!

Toby is gesturing wildly at me.

"You see!" he is saying to Leo and CJ.

I look at Sam for an answer but her just shrugs. He's as confused as I am.

Toby is on his feet. "It is *exactly* that defeatist attitude that inspired this article!"

"Whoa! Wait a minute!" I say. "Thats not defeatism - its realism!"

Wait a minute.

Wait just one cotton-pickin' minute.

What article?

"What article?" I ask.

Leo picks up something off his desk and hands it to me.

"Christopher Kline wrote this. It's going to print tomorrow."

I look at it. It's an article entitled. "The Light House" with the subheading "how the focus and energy has disappeared from the Bartlet administration."

Damn Chris Kline. We go way back. I bought him an overpriced beer two years ago!

This is how he repays me?

Thats a dollar fifty *I'll* never see again.

"What is it?" asks Sam.

CJ answers him. "It's an article about the focus and energy missing from the White House, evident through -  and I quote - "a disappointing failure to stand up for issues of national concern."

"Shit" mutters Sam, and I have to say I agree. This is so not what we need in an election year.

Sam speaks up. "Tell the newspaper not to print it. It's slander. It's also complete crap."

CJ snorts. "We can't do that Sam" The only person who can stop this going to print is Kline."

I shake my head. "I thought I talked to him about this!"

"You'll have to talk to him again" says Leo.

A tiny alarm goes off in my head.

"When?" I ask.

"Tonight."

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHHHH! NO! NO!

This is *not* happening!

I look at Sam in utter panic. He look back, his expression on of complete horror.

"I can't!" I almost shout.

"Why not?" says Leo.

"I have plans!"

Leo looks at me as if I am mad. "Cancel."

God hates me!

He has sacrificed me to Beelzebub and all his satanic minions!

Sam tries to rescue me. "I'll meet with Kline, Leo."

"Don't be stupid Sam," he says. "Josh knows the guy - you've never even met him."

"I have!" says Sam.

My brave friend! Jumping bravely into the breach! Courageous Sam!

"When?" asks Leo.

"I...I  don't know" mumbles Sam.

Yella' bellied coward.

"Leo," I plead "please, I have plans with Donna!"

"I'm sorry, Josh, but you'll have to cancel. This is important."

SO IS THIIIIIS! I want to yell.

Instead I just give a strangled cry and put my head in my hands.

I hear CJ's voice.

"What the hell is going on, Josh?"

I look up at them. I see four different expressions.

From Sam - absolute pity.

From CJ \- slight annoyance/ mild amusement.

From Toby - pure evil. Hmmm. Lets not dwell there too long.

And from Leo - complete and utter puzzlement.

Befuddlement.

Is that even a word?

My God.

I'm so messed up I don't know who I am or what's happening.

Focus. Name.

Joshua Lyman.

What's happening?

Oh right.

I've just been told I can't propose to Donna cos I have to kick some idiot reporters ass.

I want to die.

They're still staring at me, their eyes demanding an explanation.

"Ok" I say. "Ok. I didn't...I didn't really want to spread this around, but, um, here's...here's the thing."

"What?" says Leo.

"Here's the thing - what the thing actually is....is that....here's the thing -"

"Josh!"

"Ok, ok, um, tonight, I was..." I stand up.

"Yeah?"

"I was going to propose to Donna."

Well, that's done it.

Silence.

More silence.

I can't take this. If one of them doesn't speak soon, I swear I'll -

"Oh my God!" whispers CJ. She put a hand to her mouth. "That's so great!"

She rushes at me, and suddenly I'm enveloped in a giant hug, CJ style.

Leo is smiling. "I'm very happy for you, Josh. Congratulations!"

"No!" I say. "Don't say that yet. She hasn't said yes yet - you'll jinx it!"

"Of course she'll say yes!" Sam smiles. "She loves you! God only knows why!"

"Thanks, Sam" I say.

There is only one person in the room who hasn't spoken yet.

We all turn and look at Toby.

He's happy, but he tries to hide it as usual.

"Why didn't you just say?" he mutters gruffly.

So does this mean I get the night off?

I still don't know.

"Leo, about tonight -"

"Forget about it, Josh" he says. "I'll meet with Kline myself."

YEESSSSS!!!!

**DISASTER 3 - Josh's POV**

I'm so happy I'm practically floating on air as Sam and I walk back through the hallways.

"Thank God" he's saying. "That was a close one. Still, disaster averted!"

I nod happily.

"Thank God! I agree, but Sam doesn't answer.

I look at where he should be - he's not there.

I look back and see that he has stopped about 10 feet behind me.

"Sam?" He has an odd dazed look on his face. "Sam?" I wave my hand in front of his eyes.

He snaps out of it. "I'm sorry." He laughs. "It's just that - oh my God! It just hit me - what this means - you're going to marry Donna Moss!"

"That's the plan" I say, giving him an odd look.

Has my friend finally lost it?

He suddenly flies at me with even more force than CJ.

Sam is hugging me in the middle of the busiest and most important hallways in the world.

I can't breathe.

I'm being crushed.

Ok, I really can't breathe.

"Sam!" I croak.

 OK, it's all going black.

Help me!

He suddenly lets go.

I almost collapse, desperately sucking air into my deprived lungs.

"This is so great!" Sam cries, oblivious to the fact that he almost just killed me.

I can't help but laugh at his excitement as we continue walking, which is quite painful as I am now panting like a dog on a hot day.

Sam is still going on. "And now, all you have to do is go home, order pizza, curl up romantically in front of a fire.."

"Yeah!" I say. This is exactly how I am imagining it.

Life is great!

Sam continues: " - then, you get down on one knee, pull out the ring, say the magic words and voila! You are betrothed!"

"Yeahhhh.." I say, starting off excited but trailing off as I realize......

Oh dear God.

Oh dear God, no.

What did Sam just say?

"What did you just say?" I ask cautiously.

" I said, you get down on one knee-"

"No, after that."

"The magic words"

"Before that! After the knee and before the words!"

Sam thinks - "The ring?"  
Shit. SHIT.

"Oh no" I whimper.

Sam looks at me. "You...you got a ring right?"

I don't answer. For the second time in five minutes I can't breathe.

This must be what they call "hyper ventilating."

Interesting.

I slowly shake my head.

"Oh no" says Sam. "How could you forget the ring? The ring, the symbol of eternal love, derived from ancient - "

"Sam!" I shout. "This is not the time!"

"Ok"

"I need a ring!" I realized.

A woman walks past.

I stop her.

"Give me your ring!" I yell.

She gives me a weird look and carries on.

"Josh. I really don't think that robbing White House staffers of their jewelry is really the best way to solve this."

"Then what is?" I say panicked.

"Go get a ring" he says.

"It's half past eight! The shops will be shut! And I have to meet Donna!"

"I'll stall Donna," he says. "I'll tell her - I'll tell her you're still talking to Leo and she has to come to your house at half nine. As for the shops being shut, well - whats the point in working for the most powerful man in the country if you can't exert a little influence once in a while?"

Genius.

Absolute genius.

**Donna's POV**

I'm sitting on Josh's desk waiting for him to get back from senior staff.

Wow.

I can't believe how cute he was before!

Imagine him going to all that trouble just for me!

I love him so much!

I look at the clock and I start to love him a little less. It's 8:34 and I'm starving.

Where is he?

Senior staff debriefing never usually takes this long.

I want my pizza.

I tap my fingers impatiently on the desk.

Oh - I hear him coming. Thats ok then. We can go home and....oh.

It's Sam.

"Hey, Donna." he says.

"Where's Josh?" I ask him.

"He got held up at Leo's" he lies.

That's right. 

Lies.

How do I know this?

Maybe cause I'm psychic.

Maybe cause I have ESP.

No.

It's cause Sam Seaborn is the worst liar in the entire world.

Oh sure, he can do it with the big guys.

Congress, the Senators on the Hill, he can bluff his way through any political thing.

But with his friends - oh no.

Its a different story.

He fumbles, he looks at his feet, he plays with his tie.

It really is the picture of desperation.

Why is he lying to me? What is Josh up to?

I narrow my eyes and get slowly up off the desk. 

This seems to scare Sam slightly as he starts to back away.

"Sam" I say quietly. 

"Yeess?"

"Why are you lying to me?"

"I'm not!" he lies.

"Yes you are. Sam, where is Josh?"

"He's with Leo!"

"First warning, Sam. Where is he?"

"Leo!"

"Final warning."

"I only get two warnings?"

"Yes"

"I anticipated three."

"Oh well."

"I mean really, things do tend to come in threes, don't they?"

I grab the letter opener off Josh's desk and hold it threateningly to Sam's throat. He yelps.

"Now, Donna..."

"Sam, if you don't tell me where Josh is right now, I will first kill you, then I will tell Toby just who it was that broke the window with his ball last week."

His eyes widen quite impressively. "Donna - please...not that...."

Now this is interesting. Usually he would have cracked long before now.

Up till this point I thought this was a joke, but I am now quite scared. I put the letter opener back down. Sam breathes a sigh of relief.

"I'm serious, Sam. Where the hell is he?"

"He just got held up Donna, he's really sorry."

"I don't get it. Why is he held up?"

"Just with stuff."

Dammit. Now he's playing the vague card which means I can't catch him out for lying.

"Well \- how long will he be?"

"He says to meet him at his place at half past nine."

What? Meet him at his house? Why? I've never done that in my life!

We're usually always together so what is the point of *meeting* somewhere?

And what's with this giving me a specific time? He's never done that before.

Why can't I just go round whenever? I usually do. 

"Why half past nine?" I ask.

"Cause thats when he'll be back."

"From what?" I say, thinking that this could be the question that finally tells me what I need to know, but no. Sam thwarts my cunning, and plays the ultimate vague card.-The "Thing" word.

"When he gets back from the thing."

Dammit!

Sam is obviously desperate to get out of here. He looks at his watch."Good God, is that the time? Well, this has been nice, but I'd better go. Goodnight!"

He scurries out of the door before I can stop him.

Ok, now I'm really confused.

Where is Josh?

Why did Sam lie?

Why is Sam acting so weird?

Why do I have to wait till half past nine till I go round?

What is this mysterious 'thing' he's at to do with the 'stuff?"

Is he avoiding me?

Why?

Oh my God.

I think the answer just hit me.

Is he going to break up with me?

He can't be.

Not after how sweet he was today.

With the cooking, and wanting tonight to be special - oh my God!

Maybe he wants to soften the blow.

It would explain why he's avoiding me.

It would explain why he want time apart to prepare himself.

Oh god, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.......

**Josh's POV**

Ha ha ha ha haaaa.

I am da man.

You should have seen the look on those guys faces when I breezed in and demanded to be shown their finest collection of engagement rings.

"But, Zir, ve are closed"

"I don't care. Show me the rings" (boy am I cool.)

"Zir, ve do no beeznees at zis hour!"

"I don't think you know who I am!" 

And I whipped out my White House ID. 

"I work for the President of the United States, my man, and I think he would be very interested to hear how displeased one of his closest aides is with this establishment."

Of course, he wouldn't be interested in the slightest, but often the truth works best if you embellish the facts slightly.

"Oh, oh, Zir, I am so zorry, I deed not realized! Please, please, come zees vay, let me show you our collection."

Hee hee.

Sorted, as they say. I have now in my possession what is quite frankly the most beautiful ring in the country, nay, the world, a ring so astounding that it's beauty can only be surpassed by the woman destined to wear it.

Hey. Did you hear that?

I really am waxing lyrical tonight!

That should come in handy when I actually have to, you know, propose.

Hey. My mouth just got dry, my palms just got sweaty.

Propose.

Oh God, yeah. 

I'm going to actually have to propose to her, aren't I?

Ok.

Not that I'm scared, at all.

Petrified would be a more accurate description.

I'm not exactly the best person in the world when it comes to telling people how I feel.

Look how long it took with Donna.

What if she says no?

Calm, Lyman. She's not gonna say no.

Everyone else in the West Wing seems to take it for granted that she will say yes.

How can they be so sure? I'm not.

Oh God, the humiliation if she says no!

But, think positive.

Why would she say no?

Let's not even go there.

But actually, look at the things that have gone wrong today!

First, the brilliant idea of cooking dinner, tragically caught short by the fact I can't cook.

Second, the article by Kline which I only escaped kicking his ass for by the skin of my teeth.

Third, but by no means least, the whole affair of HEY LYMAN IF YOU WANT TO PROPOSE YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY NEED A RING!

Oh that's the crowning glory!

Another entry for the Josh Lyman book of shame, up there with such proud moments as almost setting the White House on fire and the infamous secret plan to fight inflation.

Actually, it's less a *book* and more a bumper series of novels complete with alphabetically categorized chapters and leather binding.

The point is, what if these things were bad omens?

Mysterious portents, foretelling of imminent failure and subsequent death.

This could be really bad!

I'm back at my apartment now. I look at my watch. Donna should be here in fifteen minutes. As I get out of the car, I feel in my pockets to make sure.

Oh God, no, where the f - 

It's Ok. Phew. The ring is here. Thank God.

Right. Fifteen minutes to prepare the apartment and order pizza. Should be fine-

Except that it won't.

Because I have zero minutes to do anything.

Because Donna is here right now, sitting on my steps.

And she doesn't look happy.

**Donna's POV**

Oh God, it's pissing down with rain.

This was a really bad idea.

I couldn't help it. I couldn't wait till half past nine, I had to come to Josh's and find out now what the hell is going on.

Only, he wasn't in when I rang the bell.

Which is why I am now sitting on his steps in the rain like a twat.

I could try his cell, only I'm not wild about the idea of being dumped over the phone.

Oh God, I really hope that that's not what this is about.

I've been racking my brains to try and think of what it can be and this is the only thing I can come up with.

He's breaking up with me.

And that really sucks.

I look up as I hear the noise of a car.

It's him.

Ok. D-day.

He doesn't notice me as he gets out and feels in his pockets like he's lost something.

I stand up.

He turns round and sees me.

"Donna? What are you doing here?"

"I..."

"Didn't Sam tell you half past nine."

Oh I could so easily blame it all on Sam, but I'm not going to.

"Yes he did, but I just thought I'd come round."

"Oh. I wasn't in."

Well done, Josh. Does he really think I'm such an idiot as to sit outside in the rain and the wind while he sits upstairs? I roll my eyes.

"But- I guess you knew that or you wouldn't be out here."

Give the guy a prize.

"How long have you been here anyway" he asks, as I shiver slightly.

"About half an hour."

"In the rain? You must be freezing! Let's get you inside." 

He puts an arm round me and starts to lead me inside. 

Aaarrrrgh I can't bear the suspense!

I pull away from him. He looks at me in surprise.

"Are you going to break up with me?" I ask.

He doesn't say anything.

Oh, please Josh, say no!

Suddenly, he starts laughing, as if for some reason this is the most comic thing he's heard in his life.

"Josh? Because Sam lied to me about where you were, and I thought you were avoiding me and.."

Theres no point in trying to continue because he is now laughing even harder.

"Josh?"

He's wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. He finally manages to speak. 

"I'm sorry - sorry - its just that that is the most ridiculous thing that has ever come out of your mouth" He dissolves into laughter again. "No, I am not going to break up with you, Donna. Trust me I have never been further from breaking up with you."

Yes! Yes! Thank God! I let out a massive sigh of relief. I start laughing too which is quite hard as my teeth are chattering together uncontrollably.

"Look at you!" he says. "Come on-you need to get inside."

We climb the stairs together and go in out of the rain. When we're inside, he takes off my coat and looks at me, smiling and shaking his head. He fingers one of the tangled tendrils that my wet hair has formed.

"You're soaking. Did you wait out there all that time because you thought I was going to break up with you?"

I nod, feeling like a complete idiot.

He takes me in his arms. "It's never gonna happen, Donna" he whispers. "You won't get rid of me that easily. Now, why don't you get out of those wet clothes and I'll order that pizza?"

"Ok."

Once I'm in his bedroom, I can hardly stop myself from dancing.

Yes! He's not going to break up with me! Oh God, this is the best thing that could have happened, I am so happy! He's being so sweet as well!

I am officially the luckiest person in the world.

2nd luckiest.

Jennifer Anniston. Grrr.

That bitch just has everything.

 Including Brad Pitt.

I'm getting changed really quickly. I know it's sad, but I can't wait to be back out there with him.

As I come out of the room, Josh is on the phone.

He raises his eyebrows appreciatively at me, even thought I'm only wearing his old sweats.

He's giving the pizza guy his address, so I go into the sadly neglected kitchen to look for some wine.

This room may lack the usual kitchen appliances such as, you know, cupboards (!) but one thing it does not lack is alcohol, so I find a bottle easily.

I wash up two glasses and pour us some.

Before you ask, no, he cannot use his dishwasher. 

His way of turning it on is to say "Donna, could you turn on the dishwasher?"

Pathetic. But I love him.

I take the wine through to the living room and hand him a glass.

"Thanks. Pizza will be here any minute."

"Good, I'm starving. What were you doing all night anyway?"

"Oh, nothing."

Oh not this again!

"Josh" I say warningly,"when people lie to me, I jump to the wrong conclusions, remember?"

He smiles. "I'll explain later, Donna, I promise."

He takes the wine glass out of my hand and starts kissing me in a way which makes it very difficult for me to argue.

Mmmmm...

We are interrupted by the doorbell.

"Pizza" says Josh.

"Great" I say. Ok, it was a good kiss, but I am starving.

He pays the guy and gets the pizza boxes. We sit down on his couch, and quickly polish off the pizza. I am halfway through the last slice when he dusts pizza crumbs off his lap and pulls me over to sit in between his legs.

Not that I don't enjoy this, but I'm pretty sure the only reason he's doing it is so he can pilfer my pizza.

"You've already had your half" I growl through a mouthful of pepperoni. 

He smiles, but he looks serious. Where is this going?

"Donna, we need to talk."

Oh no!

I've stopped eating in horror, the pizza slice halfway to my mouth.

He laughs at my reaction.

"Donna, will you calm down! I am *not* going to break up with you!"

"What then?" I say suspiciously, fearing the words ; "Donna, we need to take  a break -"

or "Donna, I'm moving to Tibet"

or "Donna, I'm gay."

He takes a deep breath. "Donna - "

Here it comes..

"I love you."

Phew yet again! Thank God! But seriously, does the guy know what he's doing to my nerves tonight?

"I love you too" I say.

He smiles, but now I notice that he looks slightly sick.

"Are you alright? Am I leaning on your stomach?"

"No, you're fine.I'm fine."  
"Cause you look a little green."

"That's cause I'm nervous about what I'm saying."

Awww! Sweet guy.

"I love you Donna. More than I have ever loved anyone ever, and I want to make sure you know that."

Ok, now I'm starting to cry. I'm so pathetic.

He smiles and wipes my eyes. "You're crying already? I was expecting to get at least halfway into this speech before you started with this!"

Does he mean there's more of this to come? I don't think my tear glands can cope!

He takes my pizza slice away and puts it down. I would be annoyed, but I *really* want to hear more of this speech!

He takes my hands.

"Donna, I know it took me a while to realized what I felt for you. I can be sort of dense like that. But I want you to know that I am not dense about it anymore. I know exactly how I feel. I know I love you now. I know I always will. And I know that I never want to be more than a meter away from you for the rest of my life."

Oh my God!

Crying so much now!

"Donna" he says again. " I've kinda run out of cool words now, so would you mind going into my coat pocket?"

I look at him, puzzled, but I nevertheless take his coat from where he left it over a chair and feel in the pocket. It's empty.

"Other one."

I feel the other one. I feel a small, velvet box.

Oh God. It can't be....

I take it out. It's a small box covered in red velvet. This really can't be what I think it is.

"Josh.." I say, trembling.

"Open it, Donna."

I'm almost scared to! But slowly, I lift the lid on the box.

Inside is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen in my life. I gasp, and look up at Josh for acknowledgement.

Just in case there was a mix up at the jewelers.

You never know.

But, no, he's nodding. 

No mix up. 

This is for real.

"Donna" he says (oh God I still can't believe what's coming!) "Will you marry me?"

OH GOD!!!

"Of course" I say, and I can't stop the tears from coursing down my cheeks.

He grins widely, takes the ring and slips it on my finger. 

Perfect fit.

I grab him and kiss him like I never kissed him before.

When we break apart, I am laughing.

"What?" he says.

"Jennifer Anniston has nothing on this!" I say.

He doesn't have a clue what I'm going on about, but he laughs too.

THE END


End file.
